i need to forget about you.
not "forget" in the sense that i pretend you no longer exist and cast you out of my life, but "forget" in the sense that i need to stop letting you have so much power over me. i don't know why either. there's just something about you that captivates me and holds me.

i'm REALLY happy we're friends because you constantly amaze me. but i need forget this aspect of you i have. it's not working out well for me.

even though it was really funny at the time, i was still a little disappointed.
sorry. i don't have the right to be because it's your life not mine.
but i'm just wondering what happened to the person who thought those things meant something?
i probably shouldn't have laughed and encouraged it.
but deep down, i didn't think you would. LOL FAIL.
this is who you are now. isn't it?

wow my entries were really depressed during junior year. well that's because i was going through a rough time... LOL but now i'm good. and i'm glad. the best part about it is i was good before everything changed. God helped me accept it. i mean i didn't like it, but i had accepted it as my life now. i had learned to be okay with it. After taiwan i was fine. i really was. then God did a super mega plot twist and he changed everything and made it good again. One year of prayer. an unresolved prayer. one that wasn't finished until i was okay with the way God had made things.

God has great timing. it made me laugh actually when it happened. i felt like a whole year of crap got pushed out of my life in that laugh when i saw God's plan. it was perfect. just like i suspected it would be.